He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
