She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
