That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Fuck appropriateness.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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