are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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