i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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