you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
