so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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