He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize