U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
