You work out of a Hotel?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
