Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
