So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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