we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
