somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
