How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
