i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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