im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
