She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
