While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
