I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
