Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Randomize
