Can i not drive my cunt home
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
