I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
