How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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