Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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