He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
