I wish I could teleport
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
What happened to fro yo and sex?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
