people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
