He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
