So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i think i just lost a toe
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
