I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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