i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
