Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
