Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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