u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
