Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you would pick up someone in the library
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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