Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
3 2 1 whiskey
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize