My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I am one with the molecules
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
