I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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