listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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