I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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