This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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