You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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