yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
