You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
