I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
