is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just found a bag of teeth...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize