Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
