I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
