he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
