I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
