You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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