Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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