3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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