ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
