just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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