i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
