Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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