Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
