why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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