The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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